bào thai trong bụng chúa
ceramic rat
.utter bellyache due to loss of love.
i've swum the ocean before, but somehow i could not do it again.
i never not knew how to swim, still i couldn't swing my arms and kick my legs to feel my limbs underwater.
i lost the ability to connect with my nerves, muscles, spines and thus i collided with the flow that was supposed to help me float.
is this the story you've told before?
tao cá đây là một câu chuyện luôn được kể chứ chẳng được nghe.
✩♬ ₊˚.🎧⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊✧
he whispered "don't you worry, i'll guide you." during the daytime while lit a candle then another candle then the final candle we had in our room.
the light of orange flames combusted the sunshine poured in yellow and white that scatterly smeared on the window sill which its door wide opened.
as earth is bathing under the ray of one humongous daystar, its offsprings are protecting themselves with thousands of helios's tinier versions.
through the hazy glass from the view of the room's inside, wouldn't you find the panorama as mediocrely turpid or furiously phantasmagorical?
from the view of the room's outside, would you find yourself catching a single image of what is through the hazy glass?
perhaps something as heinously chimerical or serenely vulgar?
but did you know, we can choose to observe the scenery through lights of the candles also;
đấy là nếu đốm lửa có thể nhìn qua - anh ta nói rồi giương cặp mắt bỏng mí ngồi xuống nhìn bức tường đằng sau những hộp nến.
ִֶָ ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ ִֶָ ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐
we are swimmers as we're deemed to be by nature.
our limbs since the day we escaped the womb will start to stretch; we began to hold, pull, push, walk, run, grab, stab, we use these arms as pillows to nap, we use these legs to roam, we slap the living shit out of our children's faces with our hands and we rub our feet on our partners' genitals. all the things we learnt for us were never able to form such abilities.
our limbs since the day we crawled out of the moisty cavern learnt how to swing and kick underwater as if it's one of the things we hadn't experienced before like a forgotten instinct to the point it was perhaps never there in the back of our animalistic core.
we study the /natural/.
like it wasn't natural but a made-up product, another society's invention, an environment's law of existence - a survival skill to be exact. if we don't swim, we die. we were able to swim without stretches and pulls, refusal of withdrawal, refusal of prolongate, refusal of doing anything but swirl in an echoing mere chamber, how come we are doing it again without a single existing memory back when we were floating in nonchalance?
our studies of nature perhaps are nothing new nor interesting but just a longing for the absence, a craving of those neglections. but what was that went absented and what was that neglected us? i could be wrong, i might am just babbling randomness. but,
no human being during their newborn, toddler, grader, teenager, adult and elder phases could possibly be alive if thrown into a pond or an ocean once they got yanked out of their mothers' bowels if that's the curse of the unnatural.
- tao nên nói gì với mày bây giờ?
⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆🎀🩰🦢🕯️⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆
he whispered "don't you worry, i'll guide you." during the nighttime while blew off a candle then another candle then the final candle we had in our room.
the light of dying flames combusted the moonshine poured in dim and gloam that scatterly smeared on the window sill which its door still wide opened.
as earth sleeps under the ray of one humongous nightstar, its offsprings are protecting themselves with thousands of hecate's tinier versions.
through the hazy glare from the view of my inside, wouldn't you find the vista as mundanity and sordid or frantically apparitional?
from the view of my outside, would you find yourself catching a single image of what is through the hazy glare?
perhaps a non-entitious gruesomeness or a barbaric tranquillity?
but did you know, we can choose to observe the scenery through the dying light also;
đấy là nếu có thể nhìn thấu - anh ta nói rồi giương cặp mắt đui mù nhìn vào bóng đêm trong hầm ngục tối chảy từ bụng xuống âm đạo tôi.
┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊
┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊
┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ .
┊ ˚ ★⋆｡ ˚★⋆｡˚
┊ ┊ ┊ ⋆
┊ ┊ ★⋆
┊ ◦
★⋆ ┊. ˚
˚★
★⋆｡
┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊
┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊
┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ .
┊ ˚ ★⋆｡
˚★⋆｡˚
┊ ┊ ┊ ⋆
┊ ┊ ★⋆
┊ ◦
★⋆ ┊. ˚
˚★ ★⋆｡
fetuses
can swim and
we are
god's offsprings.
they said the above gave birth to two human beings whom were Eva and Adam, whose limbs stretched; to hold, pull, push, walk, run, grab, stab, to use those arms as pillows to nap and those legs to roam, to use those hands as sewing needles to make clothes out of leaves and those feet as tools to run away from the other partner.
but how come they were born humans, and how come humans are god's creations - how come all creatures were born creatures and god's creations? what about eggs and sprouts and phases of being newborns, toddlers, teenagers, adults and elders?
what about the process of forming a creature? humans cannot swim.
but fetuses can.
Adam and Eva were born from god as human beings, they were born with features of grown people.
but how come people are so helpless?
they can't save themselves from drowning.
if fetuses can swim but can't the humans, and humans are god's creations, i guess
fetuses are aliens?
are fetuses even humans for they come from humans? are fetuses even god's creations if god never gave birth to them but humans?
are eggs and sprouts and phases of living creatures and their process of becoming one god's creations if god gave birth to tangible materials?
tao nghĩ là chúa chưa từng mang thai bao giờ.
does that even solve an asked question?
was there even a question at all?
what is it in god's bellybutton?
─── ⋆˚₊୨୧₊˚⋆ ───
- don't you worry, i'll guide you. he whispered.
then why was i praying to god?
the light reflected on our skins combusted the shines poured crying tears-glassiness that scatterly smeared on the window sill which its door wide opened.
scratches on burnt-brown wooden cupboards wouldn't need the sun ray to see how yellow they are, but within darkness, you could not tell how red the scratches are on the porcelain-coloured thighs of mine.
each of our ceramic mugs stays sparkingly bright of green and lime even behind the old-age glass, but how come with these glasses, we still can't tell the smudgy blues in our dark brunette eyes.
you crush me better at dubious night. you refuse to touch and flee when clear morning arrives.
why do we light candles when hecate is absent, why don't we blow them off when helios is in present?
tell me. i whispered.
we glanced at the outside, but our vision was blocked away by a piece of silky, see-through fabric hung up the window. i asked him if it's mediocrely turpid or furiously phantasmagorical at all when staring at those trees and their branches like sharpy pathways to direct the views where our eyes go, the head of people down below, the way birds' bodies move which somehow always seemed like they're having multiple seizure episodes and the vibrant colours painted on those buildings in grey-ish pigments, he asked me whether or not i'm fucked in the head.
- you're not so much of an angelic person.
i never said i was one. haven't i always been in this blood and skin of a human being?
- no. he said, you're a disgusting existence.
- but not a sinner.
he glanced back to the inside.
- i need to take a deep dive.
- drown me in the pond, please, take me back to be a fetus.
i am not god.
- you shall be one.
vậy tại sao tao đang cầu nguyện với hắn?
໋🌷֒✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚♡.‧₊ 🌷*:･⋅˚₊‧ 🌷 ‧₊˚ ⋅
are you going to keep remaining silent?
"that's a great question." he whispered.
what is a sinner?
"humans."
are you?
"you couldn't just leave me to swim in peace, could you."
i swear i saw the ginger-coloured scratches on burnt-brown wooden cupboards spread long like tree branches that tore my sight apart and concaved like the rustling noises that scraped down to my flesh.
so you can be a fetus? but fetuses don't come from god's bellybutton.
"i shall be one."
the fingers slowly turned purple as each of them from fondling strings of hair to yanking off until the hands grew weeds and the tiny head went lone.
at least tell me, am i non-entitious and gruesome or barbaric and tranquil at all,
god?
the clouds slowly swirled into a pile of viridian vomit as each blob of sunshine fell dazzling down like a bright and heated volley.
my question remained silent.
the limbs slowly turned crystalline as each of my tears and rheum flowed all the way down the abdomen until i melted into a reservoir.
i tried to reach out for a candle and some matches, but the second i swung in motion, a piece of my skin splashed on the floor. a mere mahogany plash like algal bloom tide hissed then dissolved on the ground as if nothing had painted my clustered floor a second ago.
a fetus's carrier is a god's offspring. so -
i looked down at the enormous creature trying to float in absolute nonchalance in the middle of my creek -
CRAWL THE FUCK OUT OF MY WOMB RIGHT NOW.
"i'm not going back to be a human, i'm not going to be sinful."
BUT YOU ARE, YOU SO FUCKING ARE. YOU DON'T GET TO BE A GOD'S INEXISTED CREATURE.
"so you admit that you're god."
BECAUSE I WON'T BECOME A FETUS'S CARRIER.
tiếng vỗ oàm oạp trong hầm ngục cùng tiếng quẫy đạp thùm thụp làm nước bắn tung tóe rồi chảy như xối tựa dòng thác đổ.
where the smoke amalgamated with shades of colours, there were trails to each⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
item lying somewhere tragically and sporadically the eyes can spot to numerous
placements, and each painted in such somberness for smoke isn't white clear
nor passionately pale, so i dragged my eyes to the trails that led to the
colours of each item. as i raised my neck, i realised
mirrors of the sky are not the reflective surface of the lochs, they are the
gateways of heavens for angels are transparent.
because all i saw were imperceptible celestial beings and not my own self.
if you were here
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀
⠀⡀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣷⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀ ⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀ ⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀
⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀
⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡐⠿⣂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠺⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀
⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟
⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿
⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟
⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇
⠀⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀
⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀
⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢻⡟⠛⢿⠞⠉⠐⢿⠟⠉⠻⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡧⡀⢸⠀⠀⠀⣤⣀⡀⠀⡅⠀⢸⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⡏⠛⣖⠀⢐⡒⠾⡆⠰⣷⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣷⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣸⡣⢀⣏⠀⢘⡇⠀⣳⠀⣳⡄⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡾⣷⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡟⢿⣯⣿⣽⣿⣿⢿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣾⣿⣿⣿⢿⣻⣴⣦⣿⣿⣷⣻⣿⣿⣾⣻⣿⢿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡿⢧⢷⣈⣿⣻⣿⣷⣧⣾⣿⣷⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⡌⡏⣙⢻⣿⢻⡇⡉⠹⡾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠀⠈⠀⠈⠀⢀⢂⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⣴⣤⣱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
you'd know it too.
anh ta nói rồi đứng lên, khoác lại da và xương khớp trên người rồi đóng cửa sổ và bỏ lại căn phòng có bào thai nằm chết trên mặt nước đẫm máu.
♡✩°｡⋆🕷- - - - - ☽───⛧ ༺♰༻ ⛧───☾ - - - - 🕷⋆｡°✩♡
